I Wonder If He Likes Me

At my age, why do I still get terrible bouts of adolescent-like angst regarding the opposite sex? It drives me crazy and blows my whole image as a confident, independent, smart woman. About five weeks ago, I started seeing a very nice man I met at a party. The meeting was prearranged as he is the brother of a friend’s friend. I was eager to meet someone nice who didn’t require a background check. After a few months of fruitless online dating, I expected a known quantity to be a refreshing change of pace.

This Guy wasn’t anyone I would have picked out for myself. While it turns out he’s smart, thoughtful, considerate and funny (in his way), he doesn’t strike me as “my type.” Or so I thought. At any rate, I really enjoyed his company. I also thought we had excellent chemistry.

Well, we hit it off pretty well but after a week or so, I was concerned about This Guy maybe being too interested in me. I wanted to have fun but really am not eager for anything serious, at least not right now. A couple of dates was turning into every other night get-togethers along with lots of text messaging and phone calls. Now I haven’t talked with him in two days. Writing those words seems so silly. But, and there’s always a but, we’d been texting each other all day and talking pretty much every day. So when the calls slowed down, I finally ended up calling him one night. But got no answer on his cell. And didn’t leave a message. I called the next night and left a message. He returned my call within minutes. He got irritated when I told him when he didn’t call me, I figured he had lost interest.

This Guy stays busier than just about anyone I know with a fulltime day job and a business on the side. He also has taken his brother to various doctor’s appointments and a couple of outpatient surgeries in the past month. He has dinner or sometimes lunch with his son once a week. When he can make $1,000 or more by working 10 or 12 hours on a Saturday, who am I to bitch that he should be spending that time with me? And if you’re 56 years old, work a day job, then put in more time working a side job, do you want to chat on the phone when you finally get your tired ass home? I don’t know. I don’t want to make excuses for This Guy but after carefully weighing my options, I’ve decided to do nothing. Calling him again because he hasn’t been calling me is not an option. He managed to call me before despite his long hours, so my guess is he’d call if he wanted to.

Granted, he seems to have time management issues. He didn’t call the day after the party like he said he would. And when he did call, it was 10:30 on a Monday night so he woke me up. The next time he called was five days later — in fact, only a couple of hours before we were scheduled for dinner. He’s forgetful. But c’mon.

In the meantime, I scold myself for being more than slightly upset at a downturn in what I thought was the sweet beginning to a healthy, fun relationship. When I catch myself wondering why he hasn’t called, I remind myself I can always call and ask him myself. In a couple of weeks, I’ll be onto a new obsession but in the meantime, I’m puzzled by how and why things changed. A month ago, I was worried about how to keep This Guy at arm’s length. Now I’d love it if he were within reach.